Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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