I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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