ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
