My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
