I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
