the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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