I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
