..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
