but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
