He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
