; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
