Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize