I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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