I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
