Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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