Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
soo... how was my night?
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