You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
