If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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