I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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