Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
