You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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