i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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