apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
