He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
A bitchslap is in order.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
