he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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