these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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