i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
