4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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