...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
