Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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