My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
