so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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