What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
