your thong is hanging out like whoa
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
