Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
