erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
