I got chris browned last night
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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