jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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