rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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