The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
