well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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