i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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