she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
