He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
