I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
