i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
