Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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