id be glad to
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
