You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
