You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
