He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
