And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
