I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
