I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
