I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
