do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
